Most people would agree that being literate is essential to a successful life.

How can you help your child become literate? Read to your child often and from a very early age.  Reading to a child is a special magical time.  It brings closeness, warmth, love and happiness to both the child and reader.

Read Together as a Family. Once I watched a family with teenagers reading aloud the latest Harry Potter book  in a local coffee shop.  Each family member took a turn reading and you  could tell they were really engaged.

Why Read to your Child? Reading develops listening skills, critical thinking skills and vocabulary.  The more complex the book, the larger the vocabulary your child will develop.

Reading should become a family ritual, especially at bedtime.  It sets the child’s mood for warmth, calmness and love.  When my children were ill in the middle of the night, I would read to them. They remained calm and returned to sleep more quickly.

My kids would never sit still for a story. Let your active child pace, move, even do cartwheels.  When it comes to the pictures, show them to the child.  Just because your child is in constant motion doesn’t mean they aren’t listening.  Attention Deficit — Hyperactive children require movement to stimulate the brain so they are able to listen and focus.  So let you child move around and read anyway.

My child has a learning disability. Just because they can’t read well, doesn’t mean they can’t learn by listening.  You are building important skills as your child’s reading skills improve.  And if the child with poor reading skills is forced to do all the reading, they begin to dislike the activity.  If you keep reading, they will enjoy it more.

I Can’t Afford to Buy A Lot of Books. Ask grandma and grandpa, or an aunt or uncle to buy your child books instead of another toy.  There is also the library where your child can select their own books of interest by age three.

So, here’s hoping you read to your child every day, at any age, and with great delight.

Once upon a time there was a little boy named Billy.  He was a bright-eyed little boy who loved to run and jump and play.  It took Billy a little extra time to talk, but he was smart, alert and even ahead of other children in some ways.

When Billy was four, he went to nursery school.  He didn’t color or paste as well as the other children.  But, he started using some big, big words.  He was a deep thinker for a little boy.

During kindergarten and first grade, he struggled to keep up with the other children in reading.  He had difficulty writing letters and words.  Billy’s penmanship was terrible.  He had trouble sitting still for long periods of time.  The teacher knew he was smart, but he wasn’t keeping up.  They told his mom and dad, “he’s just being a boy…don’t worry.”

At the end of second grade Billy began to act out in class.  His work wasn’t always finished.  The teacher no longer mentioned how smart he was.  He had become a “problem” for his teacher.  Billy’s mom and dad were very upset.  They could tell Billy was bright, but he just wasn’t catching on to reading.  His teacher said Billy would be fine if he would only “pay attention in class.”

By fourth grade Billy had become a bigger problem.  It seemed like he was always in trouble.  He poked other children, dropped things on the floor, and talked at the wrong time.  He almost NEVER turned in any work.

The teacher warned him that he might fail.  “If only he would TRY HARDER,” she said.  As you can guess, poor Billy repeated fourth grade.  But he did no better the second time, so the school passed him to fifth grade.

The fifth grade teacher recommended learning disability testing for Billy.  His mom and dad were relieved.  At last they would find out that it wasn’t Billy’s fault.  They were right.  The test showed that he did have a serious learning disability in reading.  Billy, now a fifth grader, COULD NOT READ “CAT” OR “DOG” OR “THE”!

So, the school gave him a tutor.  This time his mom and dad were sure that everything would be all right.  Billy would start to read better … He would keep up in class, do his homework and behave better.  Everything would be just fine.

Again, you can guess what happened.  Even though Billy started over again with reading, he still had to keep up with all his class work.  He got extra help, but it required extra work.  As hard as he tried and as hard as his mom and dad wished, it didn’t work.

Billy was very good in sports.  His mom and dad were very proud of his ability to play baseball.  He could throw, catch and hit a baseball better than any other kid.  “Why can’t Billy read as well as he plays baseball?” they asked over and over again.

Billy’s mom and dad even tried a private tutor suggested by the principal at school.  The tutor was patient and tried to help Billy.  She even made him sit still.  But, after a few months, they could tell it wasn’t working either.

In desperation, his mom and dad took Billy to a doctor that specialized in learning disabilities.  This was the end of the line.  There was no one else to take Billy to see.  They hoped and prayed that the specialist could help Billy.  By now they were sure that something terrible was wrong with Billy, and this special doctor would discover the problem and know just what to do.

Billy’s mom and dad were tired of trying to help Billy.  They were tired of being called to the school because Billy was bad.  They were tired of taking him to tutors that didn’t teach him anything.  They were tired of paying for specialists that didn’t do any good.  They were tired of talking about Billy’s problem.  They were completely frustrated!

But, they knew there was an answer somewhere.  They even knew what it was …

The MAGIC PILL!

“ If we could just find the MAGIC PILL, all our troubles would be over,” said his mom.

“You’re right, dear, and I know there is one somewhere,” agreed his dad.  “We just have to keep looking, hoping, praying and wishing for the MAGIC PILL,” they said together.

“At last we found the pill…now we can relax.  Now our troubles are over.  THEY will solve our problems with Billy and we won’t have to go to school when Billy gets in trouble.  We won’t have to see his teacher and discuss how poorly he’s doing.  This time I know everything will be all right,” said his mom.  “Yes, dear,” said his dad.

The moral of the story is that there is no magic pill…but, Billy can learn to read … it takes time!

This is the end of this little fable.  But now let’s talk about reality.  Maybe you already guessed this too – there is no magic pill!  I wish we had one.  If we did, I’d be on my yacht in the Caribbean.  But, there is good news.

Yes, Billy can learn to read!  Yes, Billy learns differently than some other children.  Yes, the schools tried to teach Billy to read for six years.  Yes, Billy’s self-esteem is really low.

When you acknowledge that there is no magic pill and that reading miracles are not likely,  Billy can start a language program that will provide him with the necessary tools to read and build his self-esteem.  Billy will be able to master reading … given time.  He can master decoding/spelling and comprehension/writing.

Most of us have seen children with their eyes glued to a phone screen and their thumbs flying as they text.  This is a major part of socializing among young people.  Some become so attached to their cell phones that they refuse to put them down (addicted?).  They send messages before, during and after their classes in school, and even while driving.  (Texting while driving is considered more dangerous than driving while drunk or on drugs.)

Do children learn how to actually speak to each other when their main communication link is by text message? Golly, children seem to believe it’s easier to text someone than it is to take two or three steps and talk to them.  I believe children are becoming more and more isolated because their face-to-face social skills are so weak.  Is this why they resort to sexting — children send crude messages and nude photos of themselves hoping to be liked.  Do they see the danger in this?

Our younger generation has grown up with computers and hand held gizmos like iPads, iPods, and iPhones.  Sadly, many have learned how to cheat in the classroom by texting test questions, then immediately receiving the answers.  Given enough time, a child could search for answers to every question on a test.  So, what are we testing?  Search skills?  Keyboard dexterity?  Honesty and ethics?

Are we raising a generation of fools who know how to retrieve answers to questions on their cell phones?  But, are they learning how to think?  Are they learning how to talk with each other?  Do they know how to play with each other?

These questions really scare me.  I’m afraid of the answers.  We need to take immediate action before our generation of fools walks out of school.

The holiday season is just around the corner!  I had a rude awakening last week when I realized I just have five more paychecks until December 25^th arrives. That got me thinking about how to bring in extra money, not just for the holidays but to help provide a nice cushion for those rainy days that are sure to come.  Here’s what I came up with; some are tried and true, while others just require some legwork.

*Handy around the house?  Get the word out that you can provide simple ‘honey do’ tasks around the home. Advertise yourself on facebook, craigslist, or post bulletins in local senior centers or churches; advertising in those formats will range from free to extreme low cost, allowing you to make more money.

*Look into being a virtual assistant.  In the current economic climate there are a host of companies looking for these.  This position offers flexibility, and the option to work full or part-time at your discretion.

*There are an abundance of people who need technology for work and their home life.  Yet, most of those people don’t know how to set up networks, hook up stereos, or solve simple computer problems.  If this is an area you are comfortable with, advertise yourself in the formats listed above.  The best part about this tip is once you do help that person with their computer, you can offer your services about a year or so later to “clean up” their system (i.e. dump spyware, malware, etc.) and continually check back to offer tech support.

*If you are especially savvy with different forms of media (vhs, dvd, cd’s, ipods/mp3 players) offer to transfer outdated formats to more sophisticated ones.  Even something as simple as scanning old photos for someone and burning those onto a disk could bring extra money your way.

*Have a great voice and don’t have stage fright?  Try offering your services to local churches or as a soloist for weddings.

*Put your sewing skills to work!  If you aren’t comfortable doing custom clothing for kids, try specializing in garments that don’t require as much durability like costumes, dress up clothes or tutus.  Etsy is a great venue to sell these kinds of goods.

*Everyone knows to clean out the closets and take gently worn clothing to a consignment shop.  Though this new tip requires a bit more legwork, but can still pull in some money.  Shop neighborhood yard sales for gently worn clothing, buy up those items and take them to a consignment shop.  Generally, the shop will offer a larger return, giving you a profit.

*Christmas is right around the corner which means lots of small businesses and corporations will be throwing parties.  Offer to make their cookie plates or pastries for them.  As long as you aren’t making treats that contain costly ingredients, you will be able to undersell catering companies and give yourself a nice profit.

*If you’ve found your niche in scrapbooking, get yourself out there!  People looking to give that sentimental anniversary gift, or commemorate an event will pay good money for someone to create a scrapbook for them!  You can also parlay this into custom greeting cards and invitations.

*Offer dog walking services.  Typical dog walkers typically charge between $15-$20 for a twenty minute walk for a single dog.  Increase your fee if handling multiple dogs per customer. Added bonus: you are getting exercise too! Don’t forget to pick up after the pet, please.

*Everyone can clean a home, but only some can make it pristine.  Put restless energy and put your neatnik ways to good use.  Charging $20 an hour for basic tasks sounds reasonable to the customer and gives you a fair compensation. If you develop a rapport with just two or three customers this could provide a substantial, reliable second income.

Before you run off to make that extra money here are some things to keep in mind before entering the service industry:

*Get all agreements for service and payment in writing, as well as any particulars that might be of concern.  Often you can find generic contracts online that will help you do this.

*If possible get payment up front so that you aren’t shortchanged in any way. At the very least require a hefty deposit toward final bill.

*Be sure to talk with a financial advisor before delving into this.  Not only will this help you avoid any tax penalties, but it will help you to take advantage of any tax write-off’s.

*Remember that word of mouth is what really drives side businesses like these.  If you venture into two or more of these services, remember to cross-sell to your customers.

*Keep it professional, keep it friendly, keep on task and these tips will work for you!

Suspecting that your child has a Learning Disability can feel very daunting.  You  think to yourself, “where do I go from here, who can help me, what’s the next step.”  Often, parents don’t know what role they play in developing an IEP (Individualized Education Plan) for their child.  Read the article below to help get your bearings; and as always feel free to call our office at 440.914.0200 with any questions or for an IEP consultation.

Reprinted with permission from the Learning Disabilities Association of Cuyahoga County

Federal law regarding children with learning disabilities has made the parent an equal partner with school districts at every level of the education process.  The parent is often the least prepared for this role.  The procedures used by school districts in Ohio may be foreign to parents.

If a Learning Disability is suspected, the parent or school district employee may request an evaluation for Learning Disabilities.  When this occurs, an evaluation must be done to determine if there is such a disability.

The PARENT is now a member of the first team – the evaluation team.  That parent may not know what the requirements are to complete such a process, what paperwork is required by the state, what tests are done or could be done to cover all aspects of LD, and  the parent may not realize the importance of the information they have about their child.  While parent information is not in “educational” terms, it has a relationship to what is required.

A “curve” in the journey may occur if the school team does not agree that a child has a Learning Disability after the evaluation is completed.  The parent may not know that they have options and rights or that additional testing can be done.  An independent evaluation can be done.  There are steps that can be taken without legal expense before legal hearings occur.

After the evaluation is completed, if LD is identified, the next team moves into place (usually many of the same people participate) called the IEP team.  The PARENT is now part of the second team – the IEP team.  That parent may not know that a decision must be made about whether the child needs Special Education or what factors can be used to demonstrate a need for an IEP.  What IS an IEP and what are the parts to it?  What is the parent contribution to this since they are not educators?  What additions and subtractions to this IEP at parent request are allowable?

The school members of this IEP team may determine that there is no need for Special Education.  The parent may not know that they may have valuable information to the contrary and how to present it.  What is happening for the child in school at the time may already indicate a need.  Information about outside activities may have importance, such as homework.

Only after an IEP is developed is another team introduced into the process – the placement team.  The parent is now part of a third team.  The parent may not know that there is more than one option and how to decide if the option is appropriate so that the IEP can be implemented.  A regular education classroom may not be the only option available.

It is essential for parents to have information to become true participants with these “teams” for their child in this process called Special Education.  The above examples are just some of the important aspects of the journey.

Below is the final installment of our first bullying series.  If you personally have any tips or insight on how to manage and get through a bullying situation, please sound off below in the Comments section.

How should a parent react to hearing that their child is being a bully?

Don’t overreact!  It is important to communicate with the school in an effort to address the behavior and then work collaboratively to help your child develop the skills needed to avoid bullying behaviors.  Set firm limits and clear expectations with your child.  Encourage them to make amends for their behavior (for example, replacing a stolen item or apologize to the target).  Put into place a plan for close monitoring and supervision of the child so as to avoid future opportunities to bully.  Counseling may be helpful to aid in developing more appropriate social skills, self-control, and empathy.

What are some clues that your child may have been or is being bullied?

Unexplained bruises or other injuries

Missing items (lunch money, school supplies, personal items, etc.)

Lack of interest in school related activities

Noted differences in sleeping, eating, and behavior patterns that are uncharacteristic of your child

Does not want to attend school, but offers no explanation as to why

Frequents the nurse’s office without physical symptoms

What are some tips for who kids who are being bullied?

If you are being bullied, it is important to tell a trusted adult so that they can help.  Know that this is not your fault!  It is not okay for someone to treat you this way and you don’t have to deal with this alone.

Ignoring the bully may help, but it might not work.  If it doesn’t, there are other options.  Again, talking with an adult about what these options are is important.

You’ll want to maintain composure during a bullying incident.  Don’t show the bully you are mad, sad or upset.  Remember, bullying is about control and power.  If the bully wants to upset you and thinks they can every time they bully you, you’ve now just proved that they have the power to manipulate you.

Maintain self-control and confidence if you plan to respond to the bully.  Practice what you might say by role-playing the situation with someone you trust.

Surround yourself with people you care about.  Find a way to meet new friends: join a club, play an instrument, try out for a sport, take a class at the library.  Don’t be a loner!

This concludes our bullying series with Jackie Summers, Bullying Prevention Specialist for Akron Public Schools.  NCES realizes that bullying will never go away, and that in the future it will mutate (just as it has to currently invade cyberspace) again and find another venue for its cruelty.  Check back here for future bullying installments, including workshops that the Chagrin Valley Little Theater does to aid the bullied and bullies.  Also, NCES will continue to post articles and tips to assist and dealing with this country-wide epidemic.

Welcome to the third installment of our series on bullying. Again, much appreciation goes out to Jackie Summers, Bullying Prevention Specialist for Akron Public Schools, for the insightful dialogue below:

What are the roles of peers with the bullied/bully?

Most kids think it’s not cool to bully, and feel they should do something if they see it happen.  In a recent study of tweens (Brown, Birch & Kancherla, 2005), 56% said that they usually either say or do something to try to stop bullying that they observe or tell someone who could help.

Knowing that there are bystanders present, is a bully deterred by them?

Though bystanders can play a significant role in stopping bullying, we should not expect children to have to deal with bullies on their own.  This behavior is a form of peer abuse or victimization and they need adult help to intervene and stop the behavior.  Society does not expect any other victims of abuse to deal with it on their own, children should not be expected to handle bullying alone.  Adults play a key role in helping to stop this behavior as do other children who witness or observe bullying.

How does bullying affect ethnic groups/disabled students?

Kids whose ethnicity varies significantly from those in the dominant culture of their school may struggle with language barriers, understanding culture, and becoming comfortable in the school environment.  Disabled students may struggle with social skills and the ability to communicate effectively, as a result of their disability.  Overall, these kids are likely to be effected as any other target would be by bullying and can benefit from efforts to include them, increased social support, and coping skills.

What are common reactions to bullying?

Some kids don’t react to the bullying, in an attempt to ignore it, but suffer silently.  Others attempt to talk back to the bully, or even act out physically in retaliation.  There are multiple ways to effectively respond to bullying:  use a direct, assertive tone, using humor, agreeing with the bully, deflecting words, ignoring the behavior, etc.

Tomorrow’s installment will conclude the series with Jackie Summers and will focus on dealing with steps to take when dealing with bullying as a parent.

Here is the second installment of our expanded four part series on bullying.  Below continues my conversation with Jackie Summers, Bullying Prevention Specialist for the Akron Public Schools.

Before we get into the varying ways that boys and girls bully, let me ask if there are some types of kids more likely to bully than others?

There are characteristics that are found to be common amongst kids who bully.  This does not mean kids that have these characteristics are any more likely to bully, however.  Common characteristics found in bullies are: average to above average self-image, like power and control, don’t usually experience positive relationships, rarely have close friends, bullying behaviors exhibited have been learned, family problems or abuse at home.

Are there differences in bullying between boys and girls?

It is important to understand that both boys and girls use verbal aggression (name calling, verbal threats, mean telephone calls, mocking each other, etc.) as well as intimidation (challenging someone to do something in front of others, taking others possessions, coercion, graffiti, etc.).  Despite these similarities, there are some differences though.

Boys who Bully…

Boys bully more than girls, however, some say this is changing.

Boys bully both boys and girls.

Boys use more direct behaviors (physical and verbal bullying) than girls do.  They usually use more indirect bullying as their verbal skills increase.

Boys may use more physical aggression than girls.

Girls Who Bully

Girls are aggressive but may use more indirect behaviors to damage relationships and can be sneaky and nasty.

Girls are increasingly becoming more physical in bullying.

Girls are more likely to just bully other girls.  They can bully boys, but usually it is gender specific with girls.

Girls behave well around adults but can be cruel and mean to peers when out of sight from adults.

Girls target weaknesses in others.

Girls frequently make comments regarding the sexual behavior of girls they don’t like.

Girls attack with tightly knit networks of friends, which intensifies the hurt.

However, it is important to note, says Jackie, that bullying is based on PATTERNS.  Boys and girls CAN bully each other in the same ways.  The above observations are behaviors that are commonly displayed, but be careful not to stereotype boys and girls into specific patterns of behavior.

Everyone is talking about it: from parents across America to Anderson Cooper and Justin Beiber, from Neil Patrick Harris, and Tim McGraw, to Ellen DeGeneres.  They are all talking about bullying.  But it is with a sad heart that this is what I’m blogging about.  Here in Northeast Ohio, bullying is killing kids.  Angered and saddened at what bullying has pushed kids to, I spoke with Jackie Summers, a Bullying Prevention Specialist who works for the Office of Drug and Violence Prevention in the Akron Public School system. So, as this is our reality, here is the first in our blog series on bullying.

What is bullying defined as?

First and foremost, it is an imbalance of power.  Bullying is typically repetitive or repeated over time.  It causes mental and/or physical harm, and is NOT the fault of the person being bullied.

What are different types of bullying?

Bullying can take on many different forms.  From direct (physical acts) to indirect (exclusion, gossip, negative body language, destroying relationships, etc.) and cyber-bullying.

Students who are bullied often are students who…

Sit alone on the playground

Are socially withdrawn

Relate better to adults than children

Wonder why others don’t like them

Are picked last for teams

Are called hurtful names

Are treated as though they don’t exist

Are largely ignored or rejected

Children are often bullied because…

They are overweight or underweight, overly tall or short, etc.

They may be physically weak or disabled

They may be less attractive

They don’t have “acceptable” clothes

They are overly emotional or cry more easily than other children

They may have gender identity issues

Their grades are too high or too low

They have more or less money than others

Are members of a minority

They are not seen as popular

They are friends with another student who is bullied

They have a physical, emotional or learning disability that can be manifested in inappropriate social behaviors.  They may have conditions such as ADHD, Pervasive Developmental Disorder (Autism, Asperger’s) or Sensory Integration Disorder.

I realize that the information above is just the tip of the iceberg and may seem quite basic.  But take Jackie’s responses and really mull them over because though it may seem quite basic, it really is the basis for bullying.

In today’s world, it is often difficult for teachers and parents to teach children critical thinking skills.  Children are more distracted than ever as parents are juggling multiple roles resulting in less quality time together.

Children are stimulated by today’s technology.  Video games, texting, the internet, and television are often used as baby-sitters to give mom and dad a break.  Though these tools can all be educational, when over-used they create a “passive brain” and a child who expects immediate gratification.  Nurturing a child to grow into an adult able to function as a responsible individual in the real world is a feat all its own.  By focusing on helping a child to analyze and think critically about what they hear and read, children will be able to understand what the information actually means.  As opposed to repeating memorized information, this method will help children to develop strong problem solving skills.

By nurturing a child’s own thinking and reasoning skills, they will feel confident in thinking on their own, allowing less room for following others’ actions without thinking.  It is important for children to be able to reason and say “no” to negative peer pressure.

Below are some suggestions from NCES to help develop a child’s thinking skills.

Encourage children to play

Structured time is important for children, but so is free time.  Make sure that your child has enough time in his or her “schedule” to daydream, think and create.  Play time encourages imagination, creativity, and thinking.  Building a fort encourages not only critical thinking but teamwork too; putting puzzles together and playing board games builds problem solving skills.

Urge children to do their own work

Giving children chores helps them to develop practical skills and their own accountability.  They will learn cause and effect (The person who spilled the milk needs to clean it up).

Promote the importance of reading

It is important to listen to children read and also to read to them.  Being able to read and digest material is an important component of being an adult as well as a key part of being able to process information when problem-solving.

Develop social skills

Ask your child what they are interested in, or maybe there is a skill or hobby they would like to learn.  Use that interest as a springboard to join a group that focuses on that interest.  A child who is hesitant or shy is more likely to come out of their shell when with peers who have a common interest.

Nurturing these qualities in your children will help them to understand the importance of being able to think for themselves.  Thinking children ultimately become thinking adults.